Sunday, January 10, 2010

Zay Would Be an Adorable Father

A friend brought her new baby over when she came for Christmas dinner. I went to pick her up and it took like 20 minutes to put the car seat in and get the baby buckled down. I was thinking, "Have mercy - after I have a baby, I'm gonna have to leave 30 minutes early to everywhere I have to go." Ha ha ha. Then she had to change his diaper twice – right before she left and halfway through the party. And then he pooped immediately after getting changed. I was thinking, "Geez - I wonder how many diapers she goes through in a day?" And then he cried and fussed. I thought, "Oh, man – what am I getting myself into???" Ha ha ha. She kept asking me, "Are you sure you want a baby?"

But then ... I saw Zay holding the baby and feeding him and I ALMOST DIED. My heart melted.

Zay's wanted kids at least since he was 18. He's been waiting patiently for 10 years for that dream to be fulfilled. He's such a softie when it comes to kids and he's so good with them. No baby cries when he's around. And he's always trying to set a good example for the kids in his life, especially if they don't have a decent father figure. He's always going down to the teen center in Provo and getting a bunch of kids together to play basketball – keeping them out of trouble and giving them something better to do. I'm so proud of the person he's become over the years. He has so much to give as a father, and sometimes I just feel so bad that I haven't been able to give him that opportunity. He's all but given up hope that we'll be able to adopt or have a kid ... I think that's why he's been so slow about signing adoption papers. He doesn't want to get his hopes up anymore. It's sad, but I'm doing all that I can to make our dream a reality. All I know is that he would be an amazing father and I can't wait for the day when he's holding and feeding his own child. My heart aches just thinking about it.

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