Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Our Sixth Anniversary

Last year, Zay and I spent our anniversary camping and fishing together. We're pretty simple, easy-going people like that.

We're not the type to go to some fancy restaurant or throw a huge celebration. This year we didn't even plan anything at all... And under normal circumstances that would have worked out just fine for us. We would've just chilled, watched some movies and spent the whole day with each other... probably would've thrown something on the grill. Our anniversary is the day before Independence Day, so we usually just mesh those two celebrations together with all the BBQ'ing, swimming, and fireworks going on.

But... things were off this year. We just weren't feeling it. The day started off well - Zay got me this awesome digital camera that I love, love, love! and we hung out all day. But as the day wore on, we could tell there was something that didn't feel right. We had been taking life so seriously up to that point that there was no room left for fun. Life was getting too confusing, too difficult, and too disappointing.

So there we were, angry for no good reason... feeling like nothing was going right. We tried to end the night on a good note. We went up to the base of the Y trail to watch the Stadium of Fire fireworks and look out over the city, but by then we were both in our own worlds trying to figure things out and we weren't connecting very well at all.

I really wish we had planned some sort of getaway or something. We really needed a break from everything. I regret that now.

This was before we made our Baby Bucket List and before good things started happening (I got a job!!!), when everything was still up in the air - my school plans, Zay's school plans, my possible career paths, Zay's possible career paths, whether I was going to try to get pregnant, whether this adoption thing would work out, if we were going to have to wait until 2014 to get health insurance under Obama's health care reform, whether we wanted to move to a bigger place or move back to GA or what. We didn't know what the heck was going on anymore and we hadn't sat down and talked about it all yet, so it was hanging over our heads and making the mood horrible.

I took one picture that entire day. I think you can gauge how happy I am by the number of pictures I take.

What a sad little picture that is! Ha ha.

Anyways, it was a bad day... and it sucks that it was on our anniversary. But now I can look back on it all and say we made it through it, so it doesn't suck as much as it did at the time. And the marriage isn't all about the anniversaries. It's about every single day. :)

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