Thursday, December 23, 2010

I Don't Know How The Holidays Got Here So Fast

I didn't even get a chance to celebrate Halloween yet. Ha ha ha.

Thanksgiving went by in a blur of food.

Now here it is Christmas and I'm just thinking, "Hold on, hold on, hold on... wait, wait, wait. Wasn't I just doing this last year?!"

I've been preoccupied this year, so I guess that's my excuse for sucking at the whole gift-giving thing. And we're trying to save money, so we didn't go crazy like we did last year.

I feel the need to list some things I'm grateful for during this holiday season:
  • The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know how I could survive without the peace and comfort and reassurance that the Gospel brings into my life. It makes me feel whole. I think about those loved ones in my life who don't have the Gospel's positive influence because they choose otherwise, and my heart hurts to see the sadness, the emptiness, the confusion, and the lack of direction. I often feel those things too, but the Gospel has a way of filling those holes and bringing me back to happiness. Without it, I would be a lost soul.
  • Family. I love my family, despite all their weaknesses and dysfunctionality. I love good memories. I love the idea of creating my own family... my own little branch of the tree. I can't wait to experience that and to create a loving and supportive home. I know we have so many memories yet to create and I'm excited for the future.
  • Infertility. As crazy as that sounds, and as painful as it can sometimes be, I know without a doubt that infertility has been a huge blessing for us. It is leading us down a path that is so beautiful that I just can't imagine if things had just been "easy." This is a much more rewarding path for us. Much harder, but much more rewarding. And exactly what God had in mind. He knows us and He loves us and it is very evident.
  • Birthmothers. We've been to birthmother panels and we've met lots of women who have placed their babies, and from what I can tell, these women are angels. I have no words for how much respect I have for them for the difficult decision they made - the most difficult decision a woman could ever face. But they should always know how loved they are and find comfort in their decision. I feel for those who are struggling with the decision right now. No matter what path they choose - to parent or to place - it's going to take a heck of a lot of COURAGE. I'm thankful for the choices that someone else will have to make to allow me to be a mother. There really are no words to say how grateful I am for that!
  • Open adoption. I love the idea. I love embracing the birth families who give so much of themselves with no reward other than to see someone else's hopes of becoming a family become reality. I love this post from The R House about open adoption and love reading about the relationships they've developed. So beautiful.

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