Sunday, June 26, 2011

Making Time For Myself

Mother's Day 2011

Now that I'm a mom (...*just saying that makes me want to squeal with happiness!!*...), I have more responsibility and more things to worry about than ever before. As hard as BYU's business school was, it's got nothing on the fatigue that parenthood dumps on you. I don't know what it is, but just a normal day can be so tiring now if I let it. I've always been good at taking ME TIME, but it's more important than ever now. We all need that time to unwind and reflect and re-connect with our inner selves or else we'll go crazy in this busy, busy world.

Things I like to do during "ME TIME":
* Write in my personal journal. I write whatever I feel like writing... just put the pen to the paper and go. I absolutely love my journal. It's my therapy and my release.
* Read Scriptures and write my thoughts about them in a scripture journal. When I really get into studying the Scriptures, I have all kinds of thoughts and impressions that I know I'll forget if I don't write them down in the moment and read them back often later.
* Blog. I seriously just love writing, I'm realizing. Blogging helps me take things that I would normally write about in my journal in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way and turn them into a focused topic.
* Research adoption topics and read everything in sight. Foster care is my new interest, but I'll read anything I get my hands on - especially people's personal experiences with adoption, good and bad.
* Facebook, email, write letters. I like keeping up with my friends and family and letting people know I'm thinking about them.
* Meditate and pray. I like doing this outside with the trees and the birds and the clouds... and weird neighbors I can spy on. Most of my ME TIME I like doing alone, but I could do this one in silence with Kal too. We have lots of quiet, peaceful, out-in-nature moments where we just chill and he lets mommy think.
* Do yoga... and streeeetch out all my anxiety. I love trying new yoga poses and seeing what I can make my body do. Makes me feel strong and in control.

I'm kind of going off on a tangent, but I started this entry because of something I read... I get a daily email from ACTS International (A Christian Teaching Service). I love the daily Christian thoughts and they always get me thinking! Seriously, everyone should sign up for it even if it's not from your denomination, because sometimes the messages can be really powerful. It's called The Daily Encounter. Anyways, one of the messages I read awhile back was about living in denial, distorting truths, and justifying unhealthy/unrighteous actions.

I liked this quote: "...the more dishonest I am with my inner self (my true feelings and motives), the more I will distort all other truth—including God's truth—to make it match my perception of reality, and use it to justify my behavior. Ultimately I end up unhappily believing my own lies."

Besides needing the rest, I think ME TIME is important to help us really think about why we do the things we do, why we make the choices we do, where we really want to be in the future, etc. When people keep themselves busy, busy, busy and don't take the time to stop and pray and think, sometimes we can fall into bad habits and start justifying our actions and letting selfishness and negative emotions like anger, frustration, etc. rule our lives and tell us what to do. That's how hypocrites are born. We can manipulate ourselves into thinking we're doing the right thing when we're not, because our motivations aren't what we think they are. Sometimes we've got to take a good hard critical look at ourselves, be humble, and give ourselves enough time to really think about our relationship with God and what it actually looks like rather than fooling ourselves on a daily basis.

Did any of that make sense? Lol. I'm taking some ME TIME today and I'm just trying to sort through all my thoughts... and that's what came out. Let's just all slow down a little bit and reflect! Get to know God and ourselves and face truth and make real changes. I think that's what I'm trying to say. :)

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