Sunday, September 25, 2011

Looking Forward

I don't think Zay and I are done creating our family, but the number of children I want has dwindled considerably! I used to think I wanted at least 13 kids (I'm serious!)... but now I realize why most babies come one at a time. Because it's definitely a one at a time type of decision.

I'm satisfied with our family right now, but I know that the baby bug will hit me again. Sooner or later it will. So, looking forward I think we will just take it a day at a time. I won't do anything unless I am absolutely sure about it, so it may be awhile. Who knows...?

If we adopt again, there's no telling how long it will take or if we will face failed adoptions or whatever. I don't know what the chances are of us having a second adoption go as smoothly as our first one. There could be a lot of ups and downs to drag out the process. If we do decide on adoption for our next child, we will go through LDS Family Services again (Foster Care and international adoption are in the back of my mind, but it's not what we want to do yet) and they require Kal to be a year old before we can start the paperwork again to get approved.

If we try fertility treatments again, the possibility of me getting pregnant is still completely up in the air... so that could be a never-ending process. Every time I open a certain drawer in my bathroom and see those leftover fertility meds sitting there, I just think "Hmmmm...." and shut it quickly. I'm not ready.

One kid is a lot of responsibility. My whole heart is wrapped up in loving Kal and making sure he has what he needs. I know that having at least one sibling will be best for him, but the timing and the spacing between them doesn't feel as important to me as it once did. I get really hesitant when I think about expanding our family. It's not something I want to rush into at all.

I see these huge families around here (making babies is definitely the thing to do in Utah), and I just wonder how in the world can they handle that? emotionally? physically? financially? Craziness, I say. Craziness. We're gonna take this slow...


  1. The same thoughts and questions go through my mind!! I used to think I wanted 2-3 now I still do but sometimes I think 6 or 10 and other times I think just 2. It's definitely a one at a time thing! I need to read your archives because I'm wondering how this whole adoption process went down. Is it all in here?

    1. Don't you love blog-stalking a story when you already know the ending? Ha ha. I'm glad you found my blog and got to read about Kal's adoption. I had a really hard time documenting things as they were happening, because I can't write when I'm emotionally overwhelmed. I have to have time to sit and sort it out... and we had no time to do that! Everything happened so fast. But I tried. :)


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