Well, March 9th is only 16 days away! I know due dates don't mean much, but I'm holding on to that date for dear life, lol. I don't want him to come early. I told our birthmom that she better keep him in for as long as possible and she said, "Believe me, I'm gonna try!" She's trying to work as long as she can to save money for the time she'll be off recovering after she has the baby. I'm always getting onto her about working too hard, but she's strong-willed (*ahem* stubborn :D)! I just hope she's not at work when she goes into labor. Lol. Poor girl needs to rest!
I'm trying to work as much as I can too. Lots of money to save before the baby gets here and there is absolutely NOT MUCH TIME LEFT!!! Ahhhh! The placement fee plus what's called "pass-through expenses" (those two together are the biggest adoption cost next to having to pay our own travel expenses) has to be paid before placement, so we went ahead and paid it since we're so close! And we could basically have to take off any day now to go meet our baby! It was sad to see that chunk of savings disappear, but I feel so blessed that the money was there and that LDS Family Services is so much cheaper to work with than any other agency that I know of.
Zay's trying to "get his mind right" about staying home with the baby instead of working. We're both naturally hard-workers and he's trying to focus his mind on something a little more important than just working to make money. There's more important things in life, and we're excited to take this step into parenting! We've been reading "ABC's for Expectant Dads" at night before we go to bed... we try to imagine having a baby in the room with us and how different our lives are going to be. We do silly things like Zay will put a basketball in the car seat as a placeholder for the baby and I'll hold Felix and rock him back and forth and make all the annoying baby "goo goo ga ga" sounds I can think of. HA! May sound crazy, but it's seriously so funny. We actually spent our entire Valentine's night sitting at Taco Bell and talking about what kind of parents we do and don't want to be like. How romantic! Ha ha ha. :) It's been really cute to watch Zay move from being almost against adoption because he didn't think it would work out, to hesitantly participating in all the paperwork and interviews and background checks, etc., to thinking "hey maybe something will happen for us eventually," to talking as if he finally *believes*! Ha ha ha. I knew he'd come around. I guess it's just been hard for him to get his hopes up... As a side note, I have always been amazed with Zay for some of his qualities... committed, loyal, dedicated, protective, affectionate... He's gonna be an amazing Daddy. If half of being a father is just being there (or "showing up" according to Modern Family), Zay's already got that down. He's not just gonna stick around, he wants to be so involved in every aspect of parenting. I love it. :)
Okay, so the plan is to wait to hear from the birthmom (or her family...she might be too preoccupied to be making phone calls) when she's in labor, and then hop on the first flight to GA. We would love, love, love to be at the hospital (and she really wants us there too to share in the experience and to be able to tell our son about his birth story), but timing is going to be everything...and it's not something we're going to have too much control over... what with not knowing when this is all going to go down and dealing with airlines and rental cars and traffic and how quickly labor will go for her, etc. etc. etc.!! That's why I'm hoping the baby doesn't come early, because then we might actually get to fly out a couple days early and spend some time with her first. But who knows?
She wants to try to have the baby naturally, without an epidural specifically. She's afraid it'll paralyze her. Ha ha. I'm all about home births and water births, so I'm totally rooting for her! More power to her for wanting to give it a shot with a natural hospital birth. But if she chose to get induced or get an epidural or whatever, I wouldn't care either. This is going to be all about her and what she wants. All I'm really hoping for is that she doesn't need an emergency c-section! And that the baby is healthy!
I'm having a couple baby showers - the big one this Saturday and then one at my job next Tuesday. I feel like I'm cutting it a little close to the due date, but I'm just going to go with it and hope everything goes smoothly. It's all I can do at this point! I had a couple days where I got panicky and was freaking out about every little thing that could possibly go wrong. There is SO much that could go wrong. And then I was making a To-Do list and it kept getting longer and longer until I panicked and suddenly felt SO overwhelmed. But after talking to Zay and my mother-in-law and our birthmom's aunt, I started to feel more confident and calm...and very reassured.
This is going to happen. It's what I've wanted to happen for a very long time! We were approved in October and less than 4 1/2 months later we're going to meet our son! In all his beautiful newborn squishiness! Ahhh!