I read a blog recently that got me thinking: "Why Do People Hate Adoption?"
Adoption is not for everyone. Most certainly not! It's not the route for every pregnant girl to take and it's not the route for every couple (fertile or infertile) to pursue in order to grow their family.
It's intense. It's emotionally charged. It's bittersweet. As an adoptive mom, I compare the experience to running a cheese grater over my heart. *ouch*
I'm not saying that it's not the choice for everyone because it's hard and not everyone is strong or tough enough to endure it. No, I'm not saying that at all! It's just that sometimes other options make more sense. Each situation is unique. Adoption is the answer to a lot of hard situations, but not all of them.
From the point of view of birthparents who are having a child while they are young and/or out-of-wedlock, sometimes it makes more sense to get married. Especially if the relationship is stable, you wanted to get married eventually anyway, etc. Or if the birth father isn't in the picture anymore, sometimes single-parenting makes more sense than adoption, especially if you have a strong support system and the chances are high for you to find a good, stable partner to help you raise that child in the future.
From the point of view of hopeful parents, sometimes it makes more sense to only have biological children or to pursue fertility treatments rather than to adopt. Especially if adoption is not something that would be accepted among the majority of your family members or if your environment isn't stable (due to things out of your control - like drug-addicted family members, etc.), or if you feel like you would treat a child who was adopted differently than a biological one. It happens. It's not in everyone's nature to do so. Adoption should be all about what's best for the child, and sometimes it just isn't the right choice.
But when it's right, adoption can be such a beautiful choice. It can bless the lives of so many people, especially that little child who is helpless and dependent on the choices the adults around him/her are making on his/her behalf. I strongly believe that if it comes down to choices like "should we adopt or remain childless?" or "should I abort or place for adoption?" the answer is obviously adoption!
There are so many children out there who need good homes... and there are so many good homes out there that need children.
It's not the easy way. I don't think there is an easy way! But it's worth it.
If you don't know where else to go, and you have any questions about how to pursue adoption as an adoptive parent or how to place a child for adoption as a birthparent, email us at xavierandaliceanne AT gmail DOT com.