Monday, February 13, 2012

"I Stand All Amazed"

My favorite hymn lately has been "I Stand All Amazed"... I can read the words over and over again. I noticed recently that the word LOVE is in every verse. The Savior's love amazes me. He loves me in all my imperfections... He gave His life for me, personally. His love is perfect. I want that... I need that kind of love in my life. When I stray and my faith is shaken, my life immediately feels empty and pointless without His love. I can't even imagine how wonderful it would be (will be) to greet Him in heaven... and give him the biggest hug ever! I bet His presence will be so comforting and gentle and reassuring.

I've been confused a lot lately about what love really is, what it means, what it does to a person, how it can drive you. We all need to be loved. Life seems to be one big search for "the one"... I can't even watch chick flicks anymore, because they're so unrealistic... (and there's so much to the story after finding "the one" that never gets discussed). Actually, that's a lie. I watch chick flicks all the time, and I totally enjoy them... but I also rip them apart and get on the characters' cases for their terrible choices. Ha ha. Anyways, love on this earth is so flawed... we confuse it with infatuation or sensuality. And we're all imperfect. It's difficult... probably near impossible... to love unconditionally. We all get vulnerable or selfish at times. The flesh is weak. Some people's hearts are more tender than others (ever knew someone who fell in love very easily?).

What is real love? Real love isn't selfish or needy or lustful. It's pure, Christlike, selfless. God is love. Something about that thought just blows me away.

My Baby Boy is Becoming a Toddler!

It's strange how it feels like I've had this little guy in my life for forever, but at the same time it's only been 11 months... not even a year!... since he was born. Time is flying. He has changed so much and at the same time, he's still my little Kal. He is the bright, shining star of my life right now. When everything around me is chaotic, Kal grins at me and calls me "Nana" and!!! He is incredible. His little grin... and the way he raises his eyebrows at me when I'm being silly... and the way Moo Moo can have him in hysterics... oh my goodness, the cuteness won't stop!

Kal can now stand without holding onto anything. :) He hasn't tried to take any steps yet, but I know it's coming. He holds onto the side of the couch and does one-handed squats all the time...ha ha ha! He's getting those legs ready, I just know it. He crawls everywhere and tries to get into everything. I don't know how many times I've had to retrieve cat food from his mouth (I really have to find a better place for the cat food...ha ha) or found him somehow entangled in the legs of a chair in a way that doesn't even make sense...! He can be so chill at other times. He'll watch grown up shows/movies (not cartoons) right along with us, and laugh when people fight or do something spastic on the screen. He's so smart and silly! Nothing makes my heart happier than to hear him laugh. :) :) :)

Zay has been captivated by his little man. They bond over basketball and haircuts. SO. CUTE. This first year of Zay staying home with Kal has been difficult in a lot of ways (Zay is used to working outside the home, so he goes stir crazy sometimes and I wish I was home more!), but I wouldn't change a thing after seeing them bond so well. I love my boys...

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