Thursday, July 26, 2012

Family Planning: Taking Our Time

8th Wedding Anniversary

The first time we were going through the adoption process... I felt this overwhelming urge to get things done as fast as possible. Zay's initial hesitancy frustrated me because I knew, without a doubt, that there was a baby who was meant to be in our family and that he was going to come through adoption and that we needed to get on the ball right then. It was just completely undeniable. Zay wasn't so sure, but he's definitely a believer now.

We adopted our son and the process went so quickly. We were insta-parents! We had the son we'd always imagined. He fit right in like a missing puzzle piece. He's so much like us that it's funny that adoption was the path he took to get to us.

The agency we want to go through requires your youngest child to be a year old before adopting another. Kal is 16 months old now (holy cow!), and we could get this ball rolling again if we wanted to. When we were adopting Kal, I thought for sure we'd be super anxious and counting down the days to get our paperwork in again the day after his first birthday, but his birthday has come and gone. And we haven't started to try to adopt another.

I don't feel the same urgency now. It's interesting. I do know that I want more kids. So does Zay. That goes without saying, although we talk about it often. It just doesn't feel like the right time. So we're going with that feeling. Kal's first birthday came and went and I casually called up the agency and asked them when the next Adoption Orientation meeting was. I put it on my calender and we planned to go. But then the day came and neither one of us felt impressed to attend.

I thought maybe there were too many ducks to get in line first and that's why we were hesitating about doing it again. It's gonna be a lot of work to be prepared for two kids! But you can never be fully prepared, 100% ready to have a child... whether it's your first child or your tenth. So I'm trying not to let a huge list of things that need to be done first hold us back. If we wait until we're absolutely 100% ready, then we'll never have any more kids.

I guess we just don't feel the urgency because... it's not time. Once we realized that, we've been using our time to 1) thoroughly enjoy this summer and my awesome "vacation" from work and 2) whittle away at the to-do list and get closer to feeling confident about adding another baby to our family. Getting a little bit done here and little bit done there.

It's been great and there's no rush. :)

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