Thursday, November 8, 2012

I Love Being a Mom!

Making faces. :)
Showing off our food.
When I was young, I never imagined having kids of my own. I never imagined myself as a mother. I never even really saw past teenager-hood, actually. Extreme tunnel vision. Inability to imagine the future. Throwing caution to the wind. You know, typical teenager behavior.

In fact, I spent ZERO time around children or babies, didn't have super young younger siblings, avoided kids in the nursery at Church, babysitting, or anything that had to do with other people's dirty, snotty, whiny kids. I had little patience and a short temper, so nurturing behavior didn't really accompany me as I went along in life. (I seriously would hate the "teenager me" if I met her today.)

Zay came into my life and immediately made it known that he was a "settle down and have a family" kind of person. That was so different, so new, so interesting to me to hear that coming from a guy. Especially a guy his age. He was direct and to the point and determined to make me his. And he wanted kids as soon as we got married. Ummmm, hello?! Even though I didn't share his viewpoint about family at the time, what a turn-on! Ha ha. I knew he was a keeper and that he would change me for the better.

Me & my babycakes.
So of course... infertility was devastating for him, but okay for me at first. I wasn't ready to have kids, so I was A-okay with this temporary setback.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

Somewhere along the line, a switch was flipped. Adoption was planted in my heart. I am all about babies and children and investing in their future and teaching them and spending my days playing and nurturing and loving on this child of mine. I thoroughly enjoy motherhood... and I love being a stay-at-home mother, for however long I'll get to enjoy this position. I can be as silly as I want, and Kal doesn't judge me. He just laughs and appreciates me just being near and loves me back no matter what. That Is Awesome.

At the park.
Yes, I get tired. Yes, I get overwhelmed. No, I'm not perfectly balanced... No, I don't have it all together. Yes, tantrums suck. No, poopy diapers don't magically smell like sunshine and lilacs.

But the good far outweighs the bad. I'm so glad I changed! I'm so glad Zay is the father that he is. Love it, love it, love it. Motherhood has changed me for the better. I'm embracing this new role as the new ME. My eyes were opened. And I like what I see. :)





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