Friday, April 26, 2013

We've Made Contact!

We've heard from a real live expectant mom, yall! Not a scammer. Ha ha ha.

I'll call her "D." She emailed us last week. I read it and my first reaction was, "No way." I had convinced myself that we'd wait a little longer... maybe hear something by the end of the summer. I read it probably ten times over before I even tried to respond. Had to make sure it really did sound legit.

Then I just felt... excitement!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY!!!! AHHHHHHH!

Then nervousness. Oh my friggin heck. Baby is due in July - are we ready?

And then an explosion of questions ran through my head: Is she really gonna choose us? Should I get my hopes up? Does she want to meet us first? How many families has she contacted? How sure is she about an adoption plan? How is her decision-making going up to this point? Does she have a timeline for herself about choosing a family? Why is she choosing adoption? What would she like as far as future contact with the adoptive family (more open or closed)? What did she like about us in particular?

I spent all day emailing back and forth with her after that first email. It sounded very, very promising. Zay was at work. And he protects himself from getting his heart involved in anything that is unsure, so I didn't tell him at first. I knew he wouldn't want me to. I wanted to see how long I could hold out... and see how much info about the situation I could get before I told him anything.

Then I felt... sadness. I don't know why, but it always surprises me to hear each story about how someone ended up pregnant and on the road to adoption. Seriously, the stories are never the same. And my heart breaks every time. But the girl behind the story is always so strong. We all make choices that we regret, but not everyone has to wear theirs so publicly with a huge pregnant belly.

I forwarded all the emails to my caseworker and made sure D was set up with a caseworker herself with LDS Family Services in Louisiana where she'll be having the baby. As legit as the situation sounded, I wanted to make sure our caseworkers could talk first before I got my hopes up too much. I wanted our caseworker to verify everything first.

I casually mentioned to Zay that I'd talked to a girl about adoption. He acted all distant like he does, but then he wanted me to read all her emails to him and I did. We spoke in hypotheticals for the rest of that night. :)

The weekend came and it felt like it was going excruciatingly slooooow. I thought I had left off our emailing on a good note, so I didn't want to bother D and I wanted to give her some space to think things over. By Tuesday I couldn't take it anymore, and I emailed D again to tell her I was thinking about her and I asked her some more open, detailed questions that I had thought of as I pondered her situation and wondered how things would go if she picked us.

She didn't answer right away and our caseworker reassured us that she wasn't worried that the Louisiana agency hadn't gotten back with her yet... *the suspense was killing me*

So we wait. And pray for D's family...

Ready for a little brother, Kal?

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