The adoption process can drive you a little bit crazy. I thought maybe I had jinxed this one. But no, it's still on. As far as I know. Communication has been kind of sporadic.
While I was out and about on the East Coast visiting fam for an early Christmas, I thought it would be a perfect time to swing by and meet Miss H and get to know her and her family a little bit in person. It was super out of the way, but I would've made it happen. A meeting would have given us an opportunity to solidify plans and make sure it all feels right from both sides. Zay wouldn't have been with me, but I figured it would be better to at least meet half of this dynamic duo than neither one of us. I'm not sure exactly when or if we'll be able to get away again before Baby Girl is born. So now was the chance. She had agreed to meeting us before and wished I could be at the appointments with her, so I gave her a date and told her I'd be there. And that I'd come with her to her doctor's appointment if she had one in early December.
Well, it didn't happen. She was busy. I was busy. It didn't happen.
But, at least she's talking to me again, right? She's worried about some back pain and pressure she's been feeling, but tomorrow she'll be 28 weeks... and every week that goes by I breathe a small sigh of relief. All I can do is hope she's taking care of herself and getting to her appointments and not stressing to the best of her ability (she has A LOT to stress about, so I don't know how much she can de-stress at this point).
All I know is that IF we are going to have a baby girl in March, I can't even imagine how happy that would make us. I mean, ecstatic! Thrilled! Happy beyond belief. Seriously, that would be amazing. And I hope that she decides to place with us, because I trust her reasons for that decision. I know why she wants to do this and I honestly think it's the right decision. If she doesn't, we would respect that. Because all we know is what she's told us and we're basing our judgments on what she's said. I know there's lots more to the story and I know there's options for her if she decides to parent Baby Girl. Hopefully she'll just be open enough to let us continue to be friends with her and be a support to her if she decides to parent.
Because this isn't about what we can "get" out of this. It's about a baby. And a mother. And her decision-making.
In the meantime, I've got these two knuckleheads to raise:
The Gift of Grace
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