Thursday, February 13, 2014

Birthmothers Are People Too

I'm so glad people have reached out and donated baby girl clothes and gift cards, etc. to contribute to the package I'm mailing to Miss H. You guys are awesome. :) I'm sending the first package on Tuesday, so I'll take pictures of everything and post about it before then! Anything I get after that will go into a second package. I am humbled by everyone's thoughtfulness and generosity in such a short amount of time for a complete stranger!

I'm really hoping to surprise her with this outreach of kindness. She needs this. She didn't get a big celebration when this baby came along... rather a lot of depression and gut-wrenching heartache. No one deserves that. I refuse to condemn her for deciding to parent her child, even if it meant that our plans to adopt and add to our family had to be set aside for now.

I've been told, "I don't know if I'd be as nice as you are being." But dang yall! Why not?? We weren't nice to her during her pregnancy just so she would give us her child. We were nice because she's a person... with feelings... and she was having a hard time. These women aren't nameless, faceless vessels meant to bring our children into the world for us and then disappear quietly.

Anyway! It's been a ton of fun shopping for girl clothes. All I really know is boys, boys, boys. Since I have 3 brothers and no sisters. My nephew Evander. I've got 3 brothers-in-law (Zay has no sisters either). And then there's Kal. It would've been awesome to have a girl and get to experience that as a mom, but I totally still got to shop for one and spoil her even if she's not "mine" and I'm really, truly okay with that.

I'm not gonna lie and say I haven't cried about any of this. But mostly that's because I wish I had more control in this area of my life. I wish I could just get pregnant on demand and not have to depend solely on adoption to grow my family. I love adoption, I really do. But it has not been kind to us lately. And that's worth a few tears every once in awhile. But I'm okay. I've learned a lot on this journey and one thing I've definitely learned is that this is not the end of the world. Seriously.

On a side note, I saw this absolutely ridiculous depiction of adoption in a Kay Jewelers commercial that left me wondering if this is how the average person imagines it going down? Nothing about it was realistic and it was embarrassing to watch. Back to that nameless, faceless birth mother idea... Where was the birth mother in the story? That's what I wanna know.

I understand you can't show all the intricacies of an adoption in a 30 second commercial, but dang - I think they could've done a better job than this. The moment they portray is not the time to be giving jewelry anyway, in my opinion. If anything, it should have been a necklace given to the birthmama with the baby's name or birth stone or something. That would've made more sense. But... whatever. Big sigh, Kay Jewelers.

Video of Kay Jewelers "Adoption Center" Commercial:

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