Monday, March 24, 2014


Today was Baby Girl's due date. For awhile there I was still getting the Baby Center "pregnancy update" emails, and updates on my calendar reminding me of Miss H's pregnancy-related things. Ugh. Even today my calender still said, "Today is the day!" So much for that.

I was texting with Kal's birthmama not too long ago. We talked about how Zay and I are thinking of moving back to Georgia, but it'll take a little time to figure out all the details - Zay transferring colleges, finding a place to live near to where we'd eventually want to buy a house, job for me, school for Kal, etc. There's lots of pros and cons about moving back, but it feels like where we need to be. She's excited for us to be closer. :)

I thanked her for choosing us to be Kal's parents even though we're all the way across the country from her. I know that wasn't originally in her plan. She wanted a local family. But luckily for us her aunt told her she needed to meet us! (Thanks, S! For always being so supportive!)

Thinking back, I'm so glad we flew to meet her, even though we also didn't plan to adopt from so far away. I don't usually think of things as "meant to be," but somehow this adoption fell together and worked out so well. I know it was hard for her. The hardest thing she's probably ever done or will ever do. But she still stands behind her decision. And it's just so hard for me to imagine our life without Kal in it. He is deeply rooted in our hearts and plays such a large part in who we are now. I can't imagine not having that, not having him. He is so amazing.

She told me, "He belongs with y'all. It's perfect. :)" Awwww.... my heart!

Love that girl to death! She's such a sweetheart and we intend to make sure Kal knows that about her. One of the biggest reasons we want to move back to Georgia is to be close to family - all of our family, including the family Kal was born into. It only makes sense. There's nothing keeping us in Utah anymore since I graduated from BYU. That's the reason we came out here. Now we're just trying to figure out what the heck we're doing with our lives and staying where we are doesn't make sense anymore. (I am SO going to miss our friends, though!)

BYU's motto is "Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve." That's something both Zay and I believe in. That we need to go "home" and build up a better future for the people there. To take our education and experience back to a place that needs it. I know there's a lot of good that could be done there, especially in the Social Work field, which is what Zay is going into. He wants to make a difference, to be a mentor. And honestly, in Georgia... there's a lot of difference to be made. Zay is going to do a lot of good in his career - I'm so excited to see that! I've been drawn to Foster Care for awhile now. And I think that's where we should do it. There's a huge need for foster parents there. And a whole lot of black and bi-racial kids in the system. And not enough black or interracial foster parents.

This was the blog post I was writing when I was praying about whether we should keep trying to adopt (in the meantime, before we move back to Georgia). I was asking myself, "Are we asking too much to try to have this happen for us twice? When the first one was so perfect?" I think the answer is yes, this could happen for us again and we should definitely leave the adoption door open just to leave that chance, that possibility available. It's just not going to come as easily, as we've already seen. But I think perfect definitely could happen twice. I'm just not counting on it, ha ha. (I'm ready for fertility treatments again!)

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