Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Clomid Cycle #3

Previous fertility posts:
I'm Ready for Fertility Treatments Again
Figuring Out My Thyroid
Clomid Cycle #1 
Clomid Cycle #2

Last cycle "on our own" with the last of my fertility meds! Then off to the fertility specialist we go!

Journal Entries:

3/17/2014 - Sending a package to Miss H was a success! Lots of people donated. I got 2 packages together to send. She got the first one and was appreciative but didn't say much. Didn't say anything at all to me, actually. Just talked to Zay. Big sigh... whatever. February's cycle resulted in ovulation (yay!) but no pregnancy. I just finished the very last of the Clomid, so I'll know in less than a month if 3rd time's a charm. After that, the plan is to meet with a reproductive endocrinologist. And go forward rapidly! We're gonna do at least 6 IUI's... that's the plan. And I'm telling myself that it won't work until the 6th try, so I don't get my hopes up (yeah right). It's gotta work by the 6th time, right?!?! I'm fairly confident it'll work. But if it doesn't, I'll feel like I did all I could to make it happen and I think I'll be okay with that.

4/1/2014 - We have an appointment with the fertility specialist at the end of this month! I got an appointment a little early rather than waiting till May. I'm ready to get the ball rolling!!! I should have ovulated in the last week sometime (after using up the very last bit of Clomid) but I never got a positive OPK, so I'm confused as to whether it happened or not (I haven't been tracking my basal body temperature to help determine if ovulation occurred or not). I guess we will just wait until our appointment and see if I get a period along the way. If I do or don't, it won't matter (unless I don't get one because I'M PREGNANT, lol... But that won't happen.) I just wonder what my body is up to. I thought I might not ovulate because I had to go down in dosage of Clomid, but the lower dose worked last time so it could've worked this time. Meh, it probably didn't work. But who cares! We're gonna do an IUI!!! :) In adoption news, we were contacted by an expectant mother in Maryland but I don't have high hopes about that. It's keeping us in the adoption game for a little longer, though. Oh, and Miss H offered to have another baby for us before she gets her tubes tied. I told her to get her tubes tied! Lol. She must feel guilty for changing her mind on us, but NO I don't want anyone to go get knocked up to give me a baby. Omg. I really don't ever want to hear from her again. We did the right thing by her and now we're through.

4/6/2014 - I'm thinking I didn't ovulate this third cycle. At all. No fertile signs whatsoever (I like to refrain from talking about my cervical position or cervical mucous, but yeah - I've been checking on those and it doesn't look like I've ovulated). I kept taking ovulation tests for a good long while, but then I stopped. We've done the deed as though I'd be ovulating any day, so if I did ovulate we did good no matter when it happened. But I'm thinking we'll make it all the way to the fertility appointment without seeing any signs of ovulation or the period that should've followed it. Because my body doesn't know what it's doing and Clomid only works half the time for me. Oh, and we heard from our caseworker that Maryland mom went with another family for her baby boy. She's 38 weeks along today - I had put it on my calender. Well, so much for that answer to a prayer. We're still hanging in the adoption game, but just barely. Ugh. Let's get this fertility party really started! I have no more Clomid on hand to taunt me. And our consultation with the fertility clinic will be here in about 3 weeks. Woot! Woot!

IUI diagram - doesn't this look oh-so-fun? :)

4/10/2014 - I'll just paraphrase - I ranted about not being able to trust anybody and being hurt, feeling rejected, etc. Not remembering how to be positive or excited about anything ever again.

4/13/2014 - Well, I know why I was so grumpy and paranoid a few days ago. I started my period the next day. Which means I had to have ovulated, right? Fourteen or fifteen days previous? Ugh, I don't even know anymore. I'm not sure how well the ovulation predictor tests have been working for me this last cycle... I never got a positive. I heard that sometimes women with PCOS can get false positives on OPKs, so that makes me question everything. But I didn't even get a positive. Part of me wonders if Clomid actually makes me ovulate at all, even all the times I thought it worked. It's possible that my body gears up for ovulation and produces the hormone that OPKs measure, but then never actually releases an egg. The follicles never get to the right size and they just die and the lining sheds about the same time that it normally would. It would explain a lot if that were the case, but I really wouldn't be able to know that unless I was being monitored with ultrasounds throughout my cycle. Right now I'm thinking sperm count is what's keeping us from getting pregnant and that my body IS actually ovulating on fertility meds. But then it's also possible that my body isn't "sperm friendly" and is contributing to the reason the sperm can't make it up the reproductive tract. Some people have a sperm/semen allergy in which the body attacks the cells as if it's an allergen, a danger, a threat to the body. I don't know how they test for that, but I wouldn't be surprised if I had that too. We'll see, but the IUI should fix all of that anyway. The sperm will be the best of the bunch, concentrated, and placed right in the uterus so they don't have to do much traveling and my body won't have enough time to screw anything up. It's supposed to give us the normal fertile couple's chances of getting pregnant, about a 20% chance. That would be amazing odds. I'm excited. :) It's so weird that I got my period though. All 3 cycles on Clomid "worked," but of course no pregnancy. That's ok, we'll figure this out. In total, this was Clomid Cycle #16 actually... if I go back and count the cycles I did back in 2009-2010. Only 9 resulted in ovulation, maybe - I think anyway. It's not really recommended to take that many cycles of Clomid, but I did anyway. I wasn't seeing any of the negative side effects (like over-stimulation and cysts) and half the time it wasn't even working. But, no more Clomid for me dangit. It's time to try something new.

Next fertility post: Fertility Center Consultation





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