Sunday, October 5, 2014

Things To Do Before Baby #2

I'm going through all my draft posts that have accumulated and trying to make something of them, no matter what they were about. :)
This post (Things To Do Before Baby #2) was gonna be a completely different post at first. I wanted to put down all the things I thought we needed to get done before Baby #2 got here July 2013... and then again before Baby #2 got here March 2014. We all know now that neither of those situations actually brought us a baby. But I planned for them as if they were going to work out, because I thought they were. I did the same thing when I made a Baby Bucket List before Kal came along.

My boys.

Making lists of things-to-do kept me focused and got me through the waiting. On this list, I had things that I wanted to prep and get ready in the house and things I wanted to do with just Kal before he wasn't an only child anymore, etc. I got some of my list done, like setting up a college fund for Kal, having zero debt, setting up a retirement account for Zay, getting a second car. Things like that. So, it was good. But Baby #2 never came.

"Things to do before baby #2" means something different to me now. Like, I can't imagine having a baby right now... Cuz I've got thangs to do!!! Ha ha ha. Having a baby would be so hard. Getting up in the middle of the night would be so hard. I don't know how these girls considering adoption end up keeping and raising their babies when they're in such crazy hard circumstance. I've got a normal, safe life & environment to raise a baby in... with resources to do so... and I still think it would be crazy hard. Doable and definitely enjoyable, but dang hard!

One child's hard enough, right? :)

So, yeah. I got thangs to do! Life is busy as is. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of Baby #2 all of a sudden. So, it's interesting how acceptance and time took all the irrational baby hungriness out of me. I'm totally cool with the here and now. It feels good to sink into that and be thoroughly comfortable.

Even though I will never ever give up on growing my family, I simply cannot plan my life around future hypothetical babies anymore. I can't. We have to make decisions as a family... important things about jobs and school and where we want to live, etc. We can't make decisions and move forward with our lives if we keep thinking, "Well... we'll probably have a baby by then, so we should/shouldn't do such-and-such." Ya know?

For example, we've been trying to figure out if Zay should go to school full-time so that he can be done already (I feel like he's on the 20-year path to graduation, lol). And we were trying to figure out if I should go back to work or not. Or if moving to Georgia is really the right thing to do and the right timing. Etc. Etc. Etc. We have to make those kinds of decisions without thinking that we're gonna have a Baby #2. Or we'll just be stuck and can't move forward with our lives and can't get anything done... because there's that possibility that a baby could be thrown into the mix and change our plans.

So, yeah. Baby #2 sounds like crazy talk right now. I got thangs to do!!! Ha ha.

Maybe this is all just reverse psychology... and the moment we've got our lives all lined up and not thinking about it, bam - that's when it'll happen. Ya never know. Life likes to do things like that sometimes. ha.

Babysittin' a friend's baby. Don't even know what to do with a baby anymore, LOL. ... P.S. - I absolutely love taking terrible pictures of myself. What does that say about me?? I just don't care, ha ha.

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