Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Race

I posted this on my FB not too long ago (and then had to listen to unsolicited advice... blah) about our "plans" (which really aren't set-in-stone plans but a doing-whatever-we-can-and-see-what-happens kinda thing):
Because I'm spotty with my updates and not everyone reads my blog, here's some clarifying: We want a baby, dangit! Or at least want to have more than one child, however that comes about. Kal deserves a sibling. So far we've only focused on one thing at a time to make that happen (trying to get pregnant, trying to adopt, thinking about foster care, back to trying to get pregnant, back to trying to adopt)... So now we're just opening every door possible and seeing what happens. I'm doing some hormone-replacement therapy to regulate my hormones and hopefully allow me to get pregnant one day. Ten years of trying is getting old, but these new meds give me hope. The agency we used to adopt Kal won't be doing adoptions anymore at the end of the year, so we're updating all our paperwork with them and transferring it to a new agency that I'm excited about and have high hopes for. It'll probably take several more months to get all that moved over and approved with the new agency and then it'll be back to waiting for a good match with an expectant mom who wants us to parent her baby. Then there's the foster care option, which is more about providing a safe home for a child while their parents get their act together, which could lead to an adoption if they don't. Or straight up adopting an older child who is already available for adoption from foster care. We want a baby, but I want to be open to considering other options, so we are in the process of getting foster licensed as well. There are eight 4-hour foster care classes to take, paperwork, etc to become licensed foster parents. I've taken 5 of the 8. Zay has had time to take 0 so far, just because of the class schedule conflicting with other things. Since that's gonna take forever and a day, we're not gonna stress it and just progress a little at a time. Now it's just a race to see which one of these 3 things brings us a child first (fertility, adoption, fostering-to-adopt).... whew! So, that's the story. 

Which one's gonna happen first???

Part of me thinks I'm crazy to do all of the above instead of focusing on one thing. But we have tried to decide on something specific we wanted to focus on and have come to NO conclusions. Seriously, we could imagine any of the above happening and we'd be perfectly happy with that outcome. It's weird. Usually one path stands out, but now ALL the paths stand out. At first we were super confused, but now we're just going to DO ALL THE THINGS and leave the real decision-making to God because we don't know where to go from here.

I could totally see us pursuing more fertility treatments. I've been reading through a handful of infertility blogs from start to finish (stories that end in pregnancy and a baby!) and those types of stories get me so pumped up. I'm trying to be patient right now, because we need to keep doing what we're doing right now to get healthy first. But come 2015, I'm hoping we will have more answers and a plan going forward about more aggressive fertility treatments. Because I've got the feeling that gently coaxing our bodies along is going to take FOREVER. And my biological clock has begun ticking loudly in my ears and I'm ready to get a move on.

I could totally see us adopting a newborn again. I found a volunteer matching service for LDS families who is super excited to advocate for us, as currently we're they're only family of color (I've gotta remember to make some hard-copy adoption profiles soon to send to them) and we're still working on making that transition from LDS Family Services to PACT. I'm so excited about this. Super positive that opportunities are gonna come our way through adoption again! I have a love-hate relationship with adoption because there's so much ethically that goes into it. I just wanna make sure if/when we do adopt again that we're doing it the right way and working with the right people.

I could totally see us getting foster licensed and being a temporary home for one or two kids Kal's age and younger. And inquiring about children already available for adoption through foster care (I spend quite a bit of time looking at the sibling groups available that don't get adopted very quickly because they have to find a family who can take all of them). I know we're supposed to do foster care. Know it in my bones. Zay knows it too, but is afraid to jump into it... so he's slow-poking. But it's just something we know is for us... we've just gotta learn more and get on the ball about it.

Soooo, yeah. I may be all over the place with my posts and people might be confused about what we're doing because we are doing ALL THE THINGS. (except international adoption - that's something I haven't completely convinced Zay to do... yet. Ha ha.)

Zay texted me at work the other day. He's been getting more and more sad that we haven't added to our family as quickly as he'd hoped. But we'll get there!

I say "back in school in January" because Kal dropped down to two days a week instead of 5 and Zay's been watching him temporarily. There's been a lot of changes going on lately!

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